SPY KIDS 2: THE ISLAND OF LOST DREAMS (Robert Rodriguez, 2002)

Reviewed: August 9, 2002

Robert Rodriguez -- who wrote, directed, produced, videographed, production designed, edited, visual effects supervised, sound designed, re-recording mixed and composed Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (some of those tasks performed with assistance) -- is one of the most imaginative and energetic one-stop-shop filmmakers alive. Unfortunately, he's also infuriatingly out of his mind and needs an immediate cat scan.

In endless interviews Rodriguez has bragged about how he shot Spy Kids 2 with 24P cameras (the same 24 frames per second, top-of-the-line digital cameras George Lucas shot Episode 2 with), and how going digital gave him an unprecedented level of freedom (and is also what allowed him to work so many different jobs on the film). Eventually he went so far as to tell Roger Ebert in a recent interview that "[his] HD camera gives him a better picture than film."

Uh, come again? What in the fuck is Roddy talking about? Spy Kids 2 is easily the ugliest over $5 million dollar movie (it's budget was around $35 million) in the history of cinema. The picture is so atrocious and so fuzzy and the color is so washed out and the lighting is so hard and so fake, I grew angrier and angrier watching this alleged "film." I challenge anyone to watch the opening ten minutes of Spy Kids 2 and disagree with me that the blue/green-screen melding of actors and special effects is so poorly done, rear screen projection from a 1940s melodrama is far more convincing. Spy Kid 2's collective footage is nothing short of embarrassing. Embarrassing! I can't believe anyone at Miramax thought its images could past muster for a nationwide release. And then for Rodriguez to claim his digital images look BETTER than film?! I can only assume Robert might have glaucoma and I suggest he seek an ophthalmologist immediately.

Listen: I am not a die-hard celluloid proponent by any stretch. I have written in the past that digital theater projection makes a strong case. And perhaps in twenty years digital images will blow away celluloid's quality. But the truth right now is simple-- digitally-shot movies do not look a fraction as good as movies shot on film. This truth is inescapable; Spy Kids 2 case in point. What I'm writing is not part of a debate-- it's a fact. At times, Spy Kids 2 looks one step away from public access television.

During the end credits it says Spy Kids 2 was shot in "TROUBLEVISION." What an apt name Rodriguez gave his videographic process. Troubled indeed. It distracted me for every minute of Spy Kids 2's runtime. Now I'm sure many of you are thinking it's absurd of me to complain about the image quality, but applaud Rodriguez's invention since he claims one feeds the other. I disagree. Rodriguez's remarkable brain would be just as inspired if he was shooting on film--the only difference is Spy Kids 2 would have cost him $20 million more (which, by the way, Miramax offered to give him and he adamantly refused).

It's a shame too, cause Spy Kids 2 is a good piece of entertainment, cleanly written, fast, propelling. As with most sequels, it suffers from the original conceit's novelty having worn off, but Rodriguez is so God damn endlessly creative I didn't mind not caring about the bland plot (which follows the Spy Kids to a secret island run by a surprisingly levelheaded scientist -- Steve Buscemi, in a wasted role -- as they race to prevent someone else--an incredibly lame villain--from taking over the world). And there's some young spy competition and two love interests thrown in for good measure.

Spy Kids 2 never amounts to much, but scenes and sequences on their own are fun little rides, especially the big action setpieces. As in the (wonderful and superior) original, the gadgets and vehicles and structures are the highlights here--and Rodriguez makes an audacious miscalculation by stripping the movie of its gadgets for much of its second half (I won't divulge the exact reasons for this, but if nothing else at least they are seamlessly interwoven into the story). As harsh as I was on the general images for the last five paragraphs, I have to admit that most of Spy Kid 2's post-produced visual effects look far, far better and more natural than the regular videography--all the gadgets are impeccable and the "monsters" on Buscemi's island appear solid.

I wish Spy Kids 2 had actually been Spy Family. Since the original I've been very intrigued by Antonio Banderas's and Carla Gugino's spy parents (I've always adored Carla Gugino by the way--since she starred on the first season of Spin City all the way through Snake Eyes and The Center of the World--I desperately want to see her work more) and as a fresh angle on the sequel, I wished Rodriguez had taken the time to incorporate them further into the plot. He does give them a little subplot involving Gugino's hip spy parents (aka the spy kids' spy grandparents, played with flair by Ricardo Montalban and Holland Taylor), but this taste of ::gasp:: adult characterizations only whet my appetite for more. Rodriguez has already said he's making yet another sequel (hey, every successful Dimension film must be a trilogy right?), so I can only pray he takes the opportunity there to heed my advice. The "they're spies and yet... they're kids!" cache has totally worn off by now. Not to mention, I think the spy kid boy (Daryl Sabara) is a pretty terrible actor... and the spy kid girl (Alexa Vega) isn't that talented either. They need to slink into the background and let their parents take the spotlight for once.

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