ALONG CAME A SPIDER (Lee Tamahori, 2001)

Reviewed: April 8th, 2002

Intro A: A friend of my mine told me he started a Morgan Freeman fan club in high school. It's hard to imagine anyone not wanting to join.
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Intro B: I have decided to review this film in two parts. Along Came a Spider: Part I will entail the first hour and twenty minutes of this movie and Along Came a Spider: Part II will involve the last twenty two minutes. As far I'm concerned they're two entirely separate pieces of work, sharing no common denominator aside besides Morgan Freeman at his finest and a kickass score by the immortal Jerry Goldsmith (Planet of the Apes, Patton, Chinatown, L.A. Confidential).
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Intro C: Big-ass fan of Kiss the Girls that I am, I entered Along Came a Spider with tempered excitement. On one hand, I knew Freeman returning to the character of Detective Alex Cross, a role he was born to play, would be like Jordan returning to the NBA. On the other hand, I was skeptical if lightening could strike twice in James Patterson land. Only a fool's not skeptical of a man who names all his novels after frickin' nursery rhymes. I thought Kiss the Girls: the film might have been largely dumb luck. (Plus I was very worried viz. the choice of Monica "Patch Head Over Heels Adams" Potter as Freeman's lead costar in Along Came a Spider. Let's just say her work in Con Air didn't overwhelm me.)

And surely enough, my Potter fears were justified. While not a bad actress per se, casting her opposite Freeman--an actor of enormous weight and gravity and presence who barrels over those actors well beneath his skill--is a huge miscalculation. Did they not have the funds to cast anyone stronger? Freeman's a giant and Kiss the Girls' success is largely predicated on star Ashley Judd, an actress talented enough to hold her own opposite him. The chasm between a Judd and a Potter is gaping.
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PART I

Independent of Potter qualms, I was pleasantly surprised by how much Along Came a Spider: Part I gets right. Save a prologue so clichéd and perfunctory it'll make even a slightly seasoned audience member groan (think Cliffhanger and about, uh, a million other movies), there's a lot of strong material here. While nothing about Along Came a Spider is particularly original, the way it steals from different films and combines them into some kind of Frankensteinian monster releases at least an aroma of freshness. Equally influenced by Se7en, Copycat and Die Hard With a Vengeance, Along Came a Spider is wise enough to steal from the best (there's even a great line in the film directly ripped off from Michael Mann's masterpiece Heat; I couldn't help but smile/gotta at least applaud the audacity). When Spider's villain sends Freeman an anonymous brown box, you're half certain you know the contents. Then later, Freeman says about the villain: "He's been at this for years. Imagine the dedication... the patience." Freeman said almost the same exact line re: John Doe in Se7en.

Ironically, I recall an interview with director Lee Tamahori (Once Were Warriors, The Edge) in which he discussed about how much influence David Fincher has had on the aesthetics of the thriller genre. Tamahori talked about how, nowadays, everyone tries to shoot thrillers as these dark, richly atmospheric, almost surreal works, because of Fincher. Tamahori, however, then declared his intention was to go the opposite route with Spider. Do something different for a change. Don't try and ape the inimitable Fincher. I wasn't sure if I knew exactly what he meant or I thought his decisions were necessarily wise ones, but now that I've seen Along Came a Spider: Part I, I get it. Tamahori's imbued Part I with a wonderful, almost anachronistic, cleanliness. There's a few scenes set in the rain at night, but that's as 'serial killer moody' as Spider becomes. Nothing feels overdone. No real fancy shots, just a simplicity and a concentration on pushing the storytelling itself (likewise, I can't wait to see what Tamahori does with his next project, i.e. the newest James Bond film).

Tamahori also has a crucial willingness to let scenes gingerly unfold at the speed they require. Pacing's obviously one of the most important facets of the thriller genre, easily making or breaking many a film. In the past few years, thanks, of course, to MTV, commercials, and despicable filmmakers like Guy Ritchie, Simon West and Dominic Sena, movies seem--with alarming frequency--too chaotically fast and haphazard. Luckily Tamahori knows just when to slow things down a bit, when to give things a chance to develop and breath, while still bearing in mind when to amp-up.

Perhaps most pleasantly surprising about Part I, Tamahori has the courage to never give the audience too much information. The film frequently seems one step ahead of us, and it's fun. Most of the time I had no idea where Along Came a Spider: Part I was headed. I didn't know the villain's motivations. I didn't know how certain conflicts would play out. And I was genuinely surprised by a few of the twists. Plus, as a kind of compensation for Monica Potter's shortcomings, Part I's got very notable supporting turns from (a personal favorite of mine since ABC's great TV series Murder One) Dylan Baker and Michael Wincott (think Michael Rooker's even more demented brother), whose haunting voice makes him ideal as the aforementioned villain.
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PART II

A total disaster, so monumentally ill-conceived, so poorly written (and sometimes even directed), that it's astounding this garbage made it to the big screen courtesy of (allegedly) the same people who brought us something as accomplished as Along Came a Spider: Part I.

I had heard rumors Spider (at this point, it would technically be Along Came a Spider: Alpha Cut) was struggling with its ending, having to resort to reshoots (never a good sign). Judging from Part II, it sure as hell looks like the grapevine was accurate. What kills me is how no one involved with Along Came a Spider: Part I knew better. Even if, for some inexplicable reason, the studio wanted this ending and thus hired a hack rewriter to maim Marc Moss's otherwise crisp dialogue, couldn't Freeman have stood up? Or Tamahori? Or Potter? Or Goldsmith ("Hell no, I won't score!, Hell no, I won't score!") Or the grips, gaffers, teamsters and everyone else, all banded together, united as a front? Just who the hell could have thought any of this Part II shit was a good idea? And if this is the original ending of the novel (which somehow I doubt) Patterson should retire.

Along Came a Spider: Part II is totally unbelievable, does a monumental disservice to everything that's come before it, and is yet another footnote in my eventually-to-be-written dissertation on how Virtually No One Has Any Idea How To End A Film, proper.

I would advise reediting Along Came a Spider yourself. Watch the first hour and twenty minutes, then just bring the damn disc back to the video store.

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